Heart Intelligence

Heart Intelligence
By Peter Shepherd
Tools for Transformation

Since he has been on Earth, Man has had to face a dangerous environment. For that,
he developed his rational intellect, which is a left brain activity. But this form of
intelligence has its limits.
The Middle East conflict and many other events preceding and inevitably to follow,
show that something is missing. The Western world is full of IQ teaching oriented to
the left brain – rational and irrational focused thought processes, but not a single
school for EQ (Emotional Intelligence) which fully encompasses and integrates right
brain activity – non-verbal, holistic thought processes including emotions based on
perception of real experience and the resulting intuitive feelings.
Intelligence of the heart is lacking in our culture, so that all too often, instead of
acting with integrated reason and feelings, we react with the emotional maturity of
spoilt children. Emotions drive our behaviour, and then we use our rational
intelligence to justify such behaviour. The lies that result destroy our spiritual
In the whole of life, you have only two ways:
1. The way of Love and it’s components: empathy, trust, certainty,
confidence, understanding, etc…
2. The way of Fear and it’s components: lies, refusal to understand, harmful
acts, withheld communication, etc…
This is the whole scene regarding those old archetypes: forces of the light and forces
of the dark. At any moment, we can be part of either one side or the other depending
on whether we act through love or through fear.
As we create every second, our creation is either towards light or darkness. And God,
which is the sum of all consciousness, encompasses both our light and our darkness.
Earth experience is mainly the opportunity to decide which way (towards light or
dark) we want to create.
There is clearly a great need for an increased understanding and practice of Emotional
Intelligence in our culture. In the world of business, factors that are really important
to succeed in an ethical manner are dependent on EQ: the co-operation of employees,
creativity and open-mindedness, understanding of another’s point of view, ability to
use empathy in negotiations, the quality of leadership and communication.
These factors are equally important in the running of schools, health services, local
government and politics. They are an essential part of our personal and spiritual
development and perhaps most importantly, they are principles that our children need
to be taught.
Heart Intelligence – intelligence of the heart – has its roots in the concept of ‘social
intelligence,’ first identified by E.L. Thorndike in 1920. Psychologists have been
uncovering other intelligences for some time now, grouping them mainly into three
1. Abstract intelligence (the ability to understand and manipulate with verbal and
mathematic symbols).
2. Concrete intelligence (the ability to understand and manipulate with objects).
3. Social intelligence (the ability to understand and relate to people).
Thorndike defined social intelligence as, “The ability to understand and manage men
and women, boys and girls – to act wisely in human relations.” And Gardner includes
inter- and intrapersonal intelligences in his theory of multiple intelligences. These two
intelligences comprise social intelligence. He defines them as follows:
Interpersonal intelligence is the ability to understand other people: what
motivates them, how they work, how to work cooperatively with them. Successful
salespeople, politicians, teachers, clinicians, and religious leaders are all likely to be
individuals with high degrees of interpersonal intelligence.
* Intrapersonal intelligence is the ability to understand oneself. It is a capacity to
form an accurate and truthful model of oneself and to be able to use that model to
operate effectively in life.
Emotional Intelligence (often given the acronym EQ, the emotional-intelligence
equivalent of IQ) encompasses social intelligence and emphasises the affect of
emotions on our ability to view situations objectively and thus to understand
ourselves and other people. It is the ability to sense, understand, and effectively apply
the power of emotions, appropriately channelled as a source of energy, creativity and
influence. We like to call it ‘Heart Intelligence’ as balancing and integrating the head
and heart, channelled through the left and right brain, is our mission.
Emotions are the primary source of human energy, aspiration and drive, activating our
innermost feelings and purpose in life, and transforming them from things we think
about, to values we live. The key factor is the way that we interpret our
circumstances, based on our prior experiences and belief system, to either respond
reactively like a stimulus-response machine with an emotion that is outside our
control and may be inappropriate and self-defeating, or to respond proactively with
self-determined responsibility – and freedom of choice.
Only part of our success in life is attributable to intellect. Other qualities: trust,
integrity, authenticity, creativity, honesty, presence and resilience, are at least as
important. These ‘other intelligences’ are collectively described as Heart Intelligence.
There was a time when IQ was considered the leading determinant of success. Based
on brain and behavioural research, Daniel Goleman argued in his ground-breaking
book, ‘Emotional Intelligence,’ that our IQ-oriented view of intelligence is far too
narrow. Instead, Goleman makes the case for emotional intelligence (EQ) being the
strongest indicator of human success. He defines emotional intelligence in terms of
self-awareness, altruism, personal motivation, empathy, and the ability to love and be
loved by friends, partners, and family members. People who possess high emotional
intelligence are the people who truly succeed in work as well as play, building
flourishing careers and lasting, meaningful relationships.
The good news is that EQ can be learned or developed, it’s not something you’re stuck
with. We can develop in ways that can improve our relationships, our parenting, our
classrooms, and our workplaces. Our temperaments may be determined by
neurochemistry and long-established patterns of behaviour, our genetic and cultural
programming, but we can recover control. We could turn society on its ear if we
learned to recognize our emotions and control our reactions; if we combined our
thinking with our feeling; if we learned to channel our flow of feelings into creative
expression, an expression of love.
Emotional intelligence plays an integral role in defining character and determining
both our individual and group destinies. It involves the ability to monitor one’s own
and others’ emotions, to discriminate among them, and to use the information to guide
one’s thinking and actions. In short, to embrace the power of emotions intelligently. It
involves abilities that may be categorized into five domains:
1. Self-awareness:
Observing an emotion as it happens; realising the prior ideas and conceptions that
underly an emotional response; being open to intuitive insights; emotional honesty – a
developed sense of integrity and authenticity.
2. Emotional maturity:
Facing up to fears and anxieties, anger, sadness and discontent and expressing that
energy constructively, whilst retaining spontaneity.
3. Self-motivation:
Channeling emotional energy in the service of a goal; openness to new ideas; the
ability to find breakthrough solutions and to make sound decisions; resilient optimism
based on competence; sense of responsibility and personal power to get things done in
accordance with what is needed and wanted.
4. Empathic understanding:
Sensitivity to others’ feelings and concerns and willingness to respect their
perspective; valuing the differences in how people feel about things; the capacity to
trust and be trusted, to forgive and be forgiven.
5. Quality communication:
Managing emotions in others through communication based on empathy and
understanding, to build mututal trust; social skills, including constructive handling of
disagreements and the ability to create and sustain friendships; leadership
Emotional Intelligence
Our ability to view situations objectively and thus to understand ourselves and
other people depends on balancing and integrating the head and heart.
Emotional intelligence is the ability to sense, understand and effectively apply
the power of emotions, appropriately channelled as a source of energy, creativity
and influence.
Emotions serve as the source of human energy, authenticity and drive, and can offer
us a wellspring of intuitive wisdom. Each feeling provides us with valuable feedback
throughout the day. This feedback from the heart is what ignites creativity, keeps us
honest with ourselves, guides trusting relationships, and provides the compass for our
life and career.
Emotional intelligence requires that we learn to acknowledge and understand feelings
– in ourselves and others – and that we appropriately respond to them, creatively
applying the energy of the emotions to our daily life, work and relationships.
Emotional intelligence is demonstrated by tolerance, empathy and compassion for
others; the ability to verbalize feelings accurately and with integrity; and the
resilience to bounce back from emotional upsets. It is the ability to be a deeply
feeling, authentic human being, no matter what life brings, no matter what challenges
and oppoertunities we face.
Emotional intelligence (EQ) may be even more important than IQ in one’s ability to
achieve success and happiness. I may score well on tests and excel academically, but
how well do I handle disappointment, anger, jealousy and fear, the problems of
communication, and all the ups and downs of relationships?
Persons with high EQ – who have developed emotional literacy – will have more
confidence and trust in themselves, and more understanding of others and therefore
empathy with them. So they will make better relationships and experience more
achievement, love and joy in their life. They will be emotionally mature, a state that
many adults do not achieve. If these skills were taught widely, in the home as well as
at school, and amongst adults too of course, it would provide the basis of a much
saner and happier world to live in.
At its essence, a meaningful and successful life requires being attuned to what is on
the inside, beneath the mental analyses, the appearances and control, and beneath the
rhetoric. It requires being attuned to the heart, the center of our emotions and
outgoing reach to the world. Our heart activates our deepest values, transforming
them from something we think about to what we actually do in our life. The heart is
the place of courage and spirit, integrity and commitment – the source of energy and
deep feelings that call us to create, learn, cooperate, lead and serve.
When we have painful feelings, the heart is telling us we have unmet needs, or we are
interpreting reality through some kind of distorting filter. When we have positive
feelings, the heart is telling us we are pointing in the right direction, towards
fulfillment of our needs and towards truth. Our Higher Self, the all-knowing part of us
connected to all consciousness, communicates to our body-mind through this channel
– not through verbal messages but through the heart. We just need to be open to
receive this intuitive wisdom.
Where Do Emotions Come From?
The word emotion is a fascinating word. Look at it this way: E-motion, or Energy, put
into motion. That is what our emotions do. They move energy and bring things into
motion, or manifestation. The force behind what we feel is what allows us to create.
First we have our thought, or perception. But it is the emotional energy, the fuel, that
allows something to get created. “I felt so strongly that I just had to rush out and do
it”. Therefore, to create in a positive way, we must generate positive emotions from
clear thoughts and perceptions.
Thought triggers emotion. See what kind of thoughts you are thinking, and what kind
of emotion that creates. Tune into how you feel. Use all your senses to ask if
something doesn’t feel right or comfortable in the way you are responding or feeling.
If you don’t like the emotion you are feeling, change the thoughts you are thinking
that are the reason for you creating that emotion. Get a new perspective, in other
words. Healing comes from taking responsibility: to realise that it is you – and no-one
else – that creates your thoughts, your feelings, and your actions.
The Reactive Response
The opposite of being response-able is to be ‘reactive’ – in this case one’s response is
not conscious and self-aware, it is mechanical, like the trigger of a gun. Rather than
being objective in the present, one is subjectively in the past. A situation reminds you
of the past and there you go. The thoughts that go through your mind – thoughts from
the past – trigger an unpleasant or self-defeating emotional reaction, and result in
behaviour that is not in your best interest. In other words it is your beliefs and your
perspective on things that determine your emotions, which then drive your resulting
These thoughts derive from times when they seemed like the best solution to trying
circumstances, and they may be an agreement with a dominant, authoritative or
persuasive force, or derive from the conclusion to an episode in your life of success or
failure. If the original circumstances were unpleasant and become painful to think
about, the accompanying thoughts, decisions and purposes become suppressed too,
but continue to operate subconsciously.
When brought to light, it is apparent that the thoughts are affecting current life
unnecessarily, as they are usually an over-generalisation, an exaggeration, a negativity
or an intolerance that is irrational. To become responsible again rather than reactive,
one needs to become aware of these thoughts and examine them objectively. And to
be conscious of the present moment, and so act (rather than react) as circumstances
The route to the underlying thoughts and beliefs is to recognise the situation or
circumstance that triggers unwanted feelings and subsequent behaviour, then see what
thoughts are driving that reaction. Most often these are fleeting and subconscious,
since they are associated with painful experiences or because they have long been
installed in the mind as seemingly safe solutions to the situations of life and have
therefore become taken for granted – ‘built in’ as part of one’s identity. Normally you
can’t see what you are being – first you need to fully experience, accept and release
the emotion.
Finding the underlying thought pattern is crucial to resolving the reactivity, and when
it is seen in the light of an objective view this is a great relief, because the past
decision – and the beliefs surrounding it – can normally be changed quite readily. It
may mean finding a new solution to the problem that it has been ‘solving’ in the mind,
but the clearer view makes this possible.
If the previous solution is used to make one feel right (or justified if connected with
bad actions) and/or to make others wrong defensively or manipulatively, then some
courage is needed to adopt the new, more rational view. If you have done something
wrong in the past, it is best to be thankful you made that mistake, because it gives you
the opportunity now to learn a valuable lesson.
These principles are common to much of humanistic psychology, and are also the
basis for further transpersonal work. To recap, the way it works is this:
1. The person has a traumatic experience, of pain or loss.
2. As a result of the experience, s/he makes a decision or intention for the future,
such as “men are selfish bastards, I can’t trust them” which becomes part of their
belief system.
3. Because the incident was painful it is suppressed, and the accompanying
decision is identified with, but both remain in the mind and continue to have
4. When the incident is restimulated by similar circumstances in the present, the
old decision is subconsciously dramatised. The tape replays subconsciously.
5. The decision may have been relevant and appropriate to the original
circumstances but it is probably not appropriate now – it is therefore irrational and
somewhat stupid, i.e. it may contain an assumption or generalisation that causes
intolerance or negativity.
6. The current situation is interpreted according to the restimulated beliefs and
considerations, and so the person creates unpleasant emotions (sadness, fear,
antagonism, anger, etc), which then drive the him or her to behave in an inappropriate
and self-defeating way; rather than the appropriate and self-empowering way that a
rational and objective interpretation would encourage.
To resolve the cycle of irrationality -> painful emotion -> negative behaviour pattern,
you can use the technique of Releasing, described in detail later on.
The Release Technique helps you to re-experience the painful emotion, to the point
that you realise that you actually create the emotion based on your interpretation of
events, and that you are not the emotion, i.e. “I create the feeling of being angry”
rather than “I am angry”. With acceptance of the emotion, so that you can have it or
not have it and still be content, then you can let the emotion go.
For the releasing to be permanent you also need to spot the underlying irrational
thought, assumption, decision or intention, and how it has been driving your
emotions. Now the emotion is cleared it will no longer be dominating your view of
the situation and these thoughts will be exposed. Upon examination it becomes clear
that you can change your mind about this and see things differently, so will you no
longer need to feel upset in similar circumstances and have new freedom to behave in
ways more aligned with your goals in life.
The Shadow Self
We each have a belief system full of ideas imprinted by our culture and upbringing,
and as the effect of earlier traumatic experiences, and even influences we are born
with. They are here with us all the time in the present and effect our view of things
and interpretation of events, so that we are not really free to be ourselves, and to know
our true selves and our true goals and purposes in life.
Part of our belief system is conscious and makes up the personality we knowingly
present to the world. Another part is less conscious and these are beliefs that we
suppress because they are uncomfortable to face – they make up our ‘Shadow Self’. It
includes aspects of ourself that we resist – qualities we have that we don’t like, things
we’ve done we are ashamed of, things we’ve believed that others have told us that are
negative evaluations or invalidations. Accompanying these beliefs are put-downs,
self-invalidations. For example, I found myself feeling afraid on occasions and judged
myself a coward: “I despise this cowardly streak I have.”
To help in suppressing painful aspects of the shadow self, we then use these putdowns
against others too, e.g. criticizing someone because he is cowardly to speak up,
to reinforce the suppression of the belief one has about oneself.
So when you resist, deny or suppress a belief about yourself, you then reinforce this
by projecting the same suppression on others. I might suppress the belief that I’m not
a kind person by criticizing another for being mean. Ironically, when we realize
someone is being kind, this is only possible because one has recognized that kindness
within oneself, otherwise it would not be real to you.
Men who deny the feminine aspect of themselves often then criticize other men for
being soft or over-sensitive. And women who through their conditioning suppress
their masculine aspects may criticize other women for being tough or aggressive.
As we become more aware, through practices such as meditation, self-remembering,
applying the Release Technique and in particular through the in-depth technique of
Meta-Programming (the advanced course offered by Tools for Transformation), we
can let go of these ‘Shadow’ aspects of our personality, we no longer need them as
‘safe solutions’, their lies have been exposed. And the energy we put into anger, hate,
jealousy, guilt, envy and so on is freed up and transmuted to its true nature, which is
our own true nature, love.
Responsibility – Yours or Mine?
Another’s determinism (including their emotional responses) is their responsibility,
not yours. This is a hard lesson to learn. If I promise to my wife that we will have a
holiday this year, but this turns out not to be possible, she may be upset and angry. It
is easy to fall into the trap of taking responsibility for this upset, to feel that I have
caused it. But it is your wife who causes her own grief, not you. You are responsible
for doing what you think is right, according to your ethical judgement. If you do
something wrong according to your own ethics, you are responsible for that. You are
not responsible for the other person’s reactions though, that is their determinism, their
If you do something you think is right and someone gets upset about it, even if you
could have predicted that, the upset is nevertheless that person’s responsibility.
Sometimes you do something you know another probably won’t like, because it is the
right and therefore responsible thing to do. The other person’s reaction is their
personal responsibility. You may decide to withhold an action because of a predicted
effect, although that effect is another’s responsibility. Here it is an ethical judgement –
withholding that action, if it is the right thing to do, may be a wrong-doing in itself.
For example if you were to withhold doing personal development because your
partner has said they do not want you to change in any way, perhaps because they
project their personal fears and insecurities, that is your choice. But if you consider
making a better life for yourself is the ethical thing to do – for the benefit of yourself
and ultimately for others too – and you tell your partner that and she gets upset, it is
your partner who is responsible for the upset – it is her interpretation of your actions
that creates her own upset, not your action in itself, which is a responsible action.
You can genuinely love someone whilst nevertheless doing something they don’t like
or agree with. You do it because you feel it is the right thing to do, though you still
understand and have empathy for their different viewpoint (which causes their
emotional reaction, part of their ‘case’ which they have created by their own choices
and belief system).
If one only did things others can easily accept then the status quo would never
progress. That would truly be a trap. The solution here is better communication,
leading to increased understanding of each other’s viewpoint, and therefore
acceptance of the differing personal realities.
There is strong cultural conditioning to feel sad, guilty, etc. for painful emotions that
our actions, however well meant, may cause to others. In society there’s a general
misconception that you are your emotions. “I am angry” and “you make me angry”.
This is conditioning not truth. In terms of cause and effect, it’s a viewpoint at effect.
Some say that to be happy only do what others can easily experience – it’s the same
The Church teaches “Do unto others as you’d have them do unto you”. This is
evidently true, as if you are being ethical then it’s going to be OK for others to do the
same to you. And if it isn’t then you’d better re-think whether you are indeed doing the
right thing. It is one definition of a ‘wrong’ action: that which you would not like
another to do to you.
It’s a basic principle of respect for others (as one would wish for oneself) that they are
responsible for their actions and reactions – that is their freedom of choice. They are
not a slave or puppet.
From your interpretation of reality you make decisions and your decisions and
choices and emotional tone have enormous influence on the direction of your life and
what happens.
Looking at life and relationships in terms of Communication, Understanding and
Empathy (CUE) is a spiritual viewpoint. It is like the ‘love of God’ – it can seem harsh
but it’s about the ‘greatest good’. It has no room for the ‘victim’ identification, jealousy
and those kinds of very human responses, that are based on conditioned lies.
Consideration for the other person comes into play when you judge ethics, what is
best overall, not just for oneself. However the other may not agree with your
judgement nor like it. That is an aspect of the unknown and randomness of the game
of life. You try to make it a win-win rather than competitive game by increasing the
qualities of CUE.
You are responsible for your choices, decisions and actions. For being true to your
judgement. For communicating with honesty and integrity, developing and
maintaining an open mind, and promoting understanding and empathy. For never
compromising your freedoms and rights nor trampling on another’s. For always acting
from the primary motivation of love. That’s all and quite enough.
To realise these truths and so recover our full spiritual awareness, Meta-
Programming is the way to go – an in-depth and effective way “to transcend or go
beyond our programming.” And the Living Consciously is a preparation for that,
teaching important concepts and life skills that help you to understand and take full
control over your life. For those who are interested in the psychology and philosophy
of this approach, Transforming the Mind is freely available. Details at my web site,
The Grief Process
Grief is a natural reaction to the experience of loss – of loved friends and family, of
treasured possessions, of self-esteem, of status and security, and of hopes, dreams and
expectations. To let ourselves feel the sequence of emotions – anger, loss, despair,
sadness, detachment and depression – is of course painful. But the grief process is not
in itself harmful; it is when we do not allow the process to occur or to complete itself,
that the suppressed emotions can cause stress and even illness months and years later.
The emotional process called grieving is to acknowledge, experience and release the
powerful feelings that are part of it.
When adjustment to the loss is accomplished, a person begins to become involved in
life again, usually incorporating a redefinition of how that life will be led: this may
include finding new interests, developing new and old friendships, and starting new
How to help a grieving person (you, a friend or child)
First it is necessary of course to open up communication with the person and reflect
back to them what they are feeling, as they may be denying their feeling of loss or
sadness. Begin by asking how he or she is feeling. Then be prepared to follow up by
saying, “How are you really feeling?” or “I noticed how you looked when you cam in
– how were you feeling then?”
Your job, through questioning and reflecting back what you hear, is to listen and let
the person know how you understand and empathize with how they are feeling. Never
try to evaluate nor to persuade the person to change their feelings. There needs to be
an openness and honesty about what has happened and the feelings that come up
(even if they seem contradictory), so that the fact of the loss can be faced head on.
One needs to be patient and allow the grieving process to take as long as it takes,
without judgment. This can include answering questions and giving support and
reassurance over and over again. Although loss has occurred in one area, point out
other aspects of life that are still intact.
Do not suppress the person’s emotional expression, and encourage them to do the
same, to bring all the tears and anger and so on to the surface. Be there for the person
and respect their need to be alone or to be with you, whether talking or in silence.
Regardless of the intensity or cause of the grief, it still occurs in this natural sequence
and needs to be allowed, supported and healed.
Recognizing Grief Reactions
One may deny or refuse to accept the death or loss. One may feel personally at fault
for what happened, such as feeling guilty that one is still OK others are not, or
believing that one has caused the negative emotional reactions of family and friends.
One may feel anger, which generally results from something happening which you
believe should not. There may be blame and resentment. There may be shock and
panic if a world which seemed safe and secure has been shattered. And they may
become loud, aggressive and physically hyperactive as their way of handling the
powerful emotions which are pouring through them.
Because so many emotions and steps are involved in the grief process, healing after a
loss can take a considerable period of time, but only emotions which are not moving
through and being released are cause for concern.
Overcoming Fear
Genuine fear warns and reminds us to stay alert and pay attention. But if a fear is
irrational it threatens and jeopardizes so that we cannot do the things we want to do. It
can become generalized so that we have an overriding feeling of fear with no real
focus. For this reason it is important to focus on and identify a fear clearly, so it can
be seen in it’s true light and confronted realistically.
When looking at a somewhat frightening situation it is all too easy to exaggerate it, to
over-generalize and assume the worst, or to be more negative than we need to be
about our own capabilities and about the scale of the threat.
The choice we have
Each time we experience fear, we have a choice to either allow it to engulf us, or to
release it and trust that things will work out for us. When we operate under the
constraint of fear, we are guaranteed to create what we fear. A fear that is not faced
grows as it cycles through us. Each time it resurfaces, we have a harsher experience,
until it becomes a phobia and ruins our lives. The alternative is to confront the fear, to
look at the circumstances objectively and rationally, and then its inherent lesson can
be learned. Accompanying every fear is a need that we feel is threatened. Therefore
the different kinds of fear correspond to the fundamental needs that we all have:
Fear of separation and loneliness. This is the most basic fear and it includes fear of
death. To be accepted by others is a fundamental human need, so loneliness and the
fear of loneliness can be found at the root of many behavioural problems: “If I say
that or do this, people might not like me and I’ll be on my own.” “I had friends in the
past but nobody likes me anymore.”
Recovering self-confidence and the sense of opportunity in the present is the way to
move through loneliness: to recognize that the ‘all-alone feeling’ we label ‘loneliness’
is an opportunity to pause and take a breath between different experiences,
relationships and activities.
Fear of the unknown. This fear accompanies change, growth and any new endeavor,
such as going to a new school or making a new friend.
Fear of pain. Physical, mental, emotional or spiritual pain is experienced (or even
just imagined) and then feared. Fear of experiencing the pain again keeps adults and
children unnecessarily locked within self-imposed limits to their life experience.
Fear of humiliation or being ‘made wrong’. Teenagers in particular so fear the loss
of their ‘image’ that they can succumb to peer pressure and act quite against their
better judgement.
Fear of rejection. With this fear one avoids taking interpersonal risks, such as stating
strong opinions that diverge from the group or family, or making decisions on one’s
Fear of loss of control. This fear may come up if one has been betrayed in the past,
or if one has been persuaded or influenced to do inappropriate actions, or if one has
been frustrated at being unable to complete a cycle of action, or if one has tried to
communicate with an angry person who won’t listen, and so on.
And there are many more common fears. For all of them, the resolution is to perceive
and accept the true reality of the situation and to trust that one’s needs will be met.
The magic of the universe is that then, yes they will be.
Resolving Guilt
Guilt is the feeling of self-reproach for believing one has done a wrong. Guilt usually
involves a judgment we make about our character or behaviour and it’s this which
sticks and makes us feel bad afterwards. It’s not the answer to having done something
wrong; the answer is to take responsibility for one’s actions and to learn whatever
lessons are possible from the mistakes and errors of judgement involved.
The self-reproach is lessened by realising that you don’t usually know you are making
an error until you have made it and have a chance to realise in retrospect. Each of us
can do our best and no more. If you did know your action was wrong, even before
you did it, then you need to look at your motives and see where your judgement was
going astray – since you realise it was a wrong act this should be quite apparent.
What was the valid or good motive for your behaviour and what was the lie or
misunderstanding that distorted the good into a bad action? This is the lesson you can
learn, and you won’t learn that lesson by putting yourself down and refusing to look
clearly at what was really going on for you.
One needs to be particularly careful when one realises one has done something
wrong. You are particularly vulnerable at this moment to fall into the trap of
protecting your self-esteem and ‘rightness’ by finding some way to justify your
actions, to pretend that your motive was correct, that the action was deserved. If you
believe this lie then you are even farther from taking responsibility and learning a
valuable lesson.
It’s a pretty reliable indication, that if someone is criticizing another with intolerance
and lack of empathy and compassion, then he has previously wronged the other and
has fallen into the trap of justifying his actions by rationalizing that the other is
deserving of the wrongdoing. He then continues to find fault in the other, believing
his own lie, and is that much more lacking in self-awareness.
The person who has done something wrong and realises this, but has not
communicated his responsibility to the persons involved, is in the precarious position
of being afraid of being found out. He may feel the need to lie, which makes it worse.
Every time he is ‘nearly found out’ he is highly stressed. The motto is, if there’s
something you need to say, then for your own sake just say it – you’ll be so relieved.
But the longer you leave it, or the more you lie to cover up your tracks, the worse it
gets for you.
It’s very important, if someone is brave enough enough to own up to you – about
something they’ve done (that they think you won’t like) or lies they’ve told – that you
treat them with respect and compassion, and wipe the slate clean. Then it’s win-win:
they will respect you and their own self, and you’ve just made a friend not an enemy.
Jealousy & Envy
Jealousy is an immature emotion. Adults should have leaned better but in many cases
they haven’t. Jealousy is to consider another person as an object of possession, a
person who has no right to make their own choices.
Yes, we all feel the sting of jealousy sometimes and we need to acknowledge and
accept the emotion, and then release it as something that is simply not rational nor
helpful to us. We need to put ourselves in the other person’s shoes and consider
whether we would appreciate the lack of trust that a person jealous of us is
demonstrating, and their desire to manipulate and control our choices. Probably we
wouldn’t. And most importantly, we need to spot the fears that underlie our jealous
feelings and release them as well.
Envy is to wish one was the other person and is equally immature and unrealistic, but
it doesn’t have the destructive effects that jealousy has on trust in a relationship –
instead it is a lack of trust in oneself.
If you believe life ‘happens to you’ and if you believe you cannot create what you
want, then you need to learn how to reverse these beliefs. Work through Ayal Hurst’s
procedure for uncovering and releasing negative beliefs given here.
Envy can be resolved when you give yourself permission to have the experience,
thing or ability that another person has. Then you can acknowledge, accept and
release the feeling of envy.
Anger is the commonly experienced emotional state that gets us into the most
troubling of situations. It is rooted deeply in our biology and is based on the ‘fight or
flight’ reaction that we have when we feel in some way endangered. Anger is a
passive state from which we can then choose either to make a positive response and
take effective action to remedy the situation or we may choose to adopt a more
negative emotion: if we feel some confidence we may move into an antagonistic
stance, or if we feel the threat is overwhelming we may move into the state of fear.
We feel anger when we face a situation that is most definitely not as we feel it should
be, which gives us a sense of being violated or wronged or threatened. When feelings
of anger get to a certain point they are extremely hard to contain. This signals us to
take action, to do something to relieve ourselves of the discomfort in the anger we
feel. We may want to flee in fear, to leave in disgust or to attack with hostility; or it
may stimulate us in a positive way to communicate with empathy and understanding,
try to set new limits or rules or to enforce necessary changes, and to take power over
our own lives.
The sooner we recognize the signals of anger, the better able we are to manage the
anger successfully, to keep our cool and be responsible in the situation. Breathe
deeply and count to 100 if necessary. Anger management should begin as soon as the
pot begins to turn warm rather than waiting until it is threatening to boil over. The
anger should not be denied, suppressed or avoided; instead it needs to be expressed,
but in a positive way that does not have harmful consequences to yourself nor your
relationships, and preferably in a way that enhances your situation.
When anger is not acknowledged and expressed, and when nothing is done about the
situation that we are unhappy about, this energy stays locked up inside. This
suppressed energy subconsciously takes a lot of our attention and the stress negatively
impacts our ability to perceive objectively. It reinforces the Ego and we begin to
misinterpret what we perceive, our vision coloured strongly by this cloud of anger.
We tend to see everything in a negative way and cannot determine, as we normally
might, the best way forward.
Depression may result from suppressing the anger that we feel because of the fear that
we will get in trouble for expressing it. If you aware of being depressed about a
situation, give yourself permission to experience and express your anger and much of
your depression can lift from your shoulders. Anger is actually a much more causative
and potentially responsible standpoint – we can use the energy of anger to move
upwards in tone, to take positive steps towards improving the situation.
Anger gives us an opportunity to learn about ourselves. To learn anger’s lessons, what
we need to do is acknowledge and accept our feeling of anger so that it passes through
us harmlessly, so then we have a clear mind to deal rationally and empathically with
the situation and we can see better just what it is we are getting so worked up about,
or what it is we feel has been violated. And then we can use this released energy to do
something about the situation in a positive way.
Feelings of Hurt & Resentment
Anger that is not expressed and released but instead is held inside, so the hurt is not
exposed, can soon turn into resentment and hatred. The feeling of being ‘victimized’
instead of empowered undermines self-confidence. This kind of pain takes time to
heal, unlike anger, which surfaces and passes through us quickly.
After the same hurtful experience is repeated several times, a person may develop a
belief system based on resentment. Unless corrected, the person will unconsciously
use these beliefs as a self-fulfilling prophecy, and become a person whose primary
role in life is ‘victim.’
Most people feel hurt when their core beliefs are challenged, especially if it is by
someone who refuses to have empathy for their views nor to communicate properly
about the issues. The person then feels frustrated and ignored. If he also received
incorrect evaluations or invalidations of his way of being, he may also introspect and
be left wondering if these observations are really true.
Conquer hurt feelings by acknowledging and facing the hurt, to the point where it can
be accepted and then released. Just the act of looking squarely at what has actually
happened and what has been hurtful frees you from some of the pain. Handle hurt in
this way instead of pretending things are “all OK!”
It is necessary to realise that other people are entitled to have quite different opinions
than oneself, and that need not be considered any threat nor invalidation of one’s own.
Maybe the other person is lacking in sensitivity and the ability to empathize with your
views, but that is their problem, not one’s own.
You need to identify what are your beliefs and what are the other person’s, and clearly
separate the two; then accept both views as individual expressions that have every
right to be made and to exist.
If you are helping another person to face and release feelings of hurt, provide a safe
and supportive atmosphere for working with feelings. Eschew any kind of evaluation
or invalidation of what the person says, even if it seems correct to you – they need to
rebuild their own reality and adding yours to the mix is actually no help at all. And of
course, respect their confidences absolutely. If a person shares their feelings a few
times but feels endangered by doing so, then he or she will surely close down again.
We can feel one emotion regarding a particular circumstance, whilst at the same time
or soon after feeling quite a different emotion – like when watching a dramatic movie.
The emotions that we need to release are the fixed ones that we identify with and feel
the effect of – we feel we ARE the emotion: “I’m angry and you make me so.” A free
emotion is one that we CREATE as an appropriate feeling to accompany our
considerations, beliefs, desires and involvements: “I feel anger according to the way I
interpret my current circumstances.”
An emotion is adopted chronically when it accompanies the belief structure of a
particular identity we are absorbed in – a way of being, such as a people pleaser who
is dominated at work by more confident colleagues, or a mother with children who
feels bored and restricted to the house. And then, suddenly a different identity may
become restimulated (through new circumstances or through thoughts restimulating
past circumstances) and we see a dramatic personality change – the person at work
may get promotion and start to feel and behave quite differently, or the mother may
remember her pleasure at giving birth and suddenly looking after the children is a
different proposition.
Since we cannot easily recognize what we are being, this aspect of changing fixed
identities is usually an unconscious aspect of an individual’s case – though profoundly
affecting most people much of the time. The way that we identify and switch from
identity to identity is explained fully in my free online book, ‘Transforming the Mind.’
The in-depth techniques of Meta-Programming used on the Insight Project are the
most effective ‘transpersonal’ tools to clear this case and enable one to be whatever
one wants without ever becoming trapped in that role.
The pre-requisite to clearing a fixed identity is to release the emotions that are driving
that way of being, so next we look at the techniques to achieve that…
Releasing Emotions
One technique we have found profoundly effective is a process of consciously and
intentionally releasing emotions as they arise – a technique developed by Lester
Levinson of the Sedona Institute.
In essence, Levinson found that people have three usual ways of handling a feeling:
• The first way is to suppress the feeling. But suppressed feelings don’t go away –
they build up and fester inside, causing anxiety, tension, depression, and a host
of stress-related problems. The repressed energy (or ‘charge’) these suppressed
feelings create eventually drives you to behave in ways you don’t like or
understand, and which you cannot control.
• The second way is to express the feeling. By ‘blowing up’ or losing our tempers
we relieve the pressure of the accumulated emotions. This can feel good because
it puts the feeling into action – but it doesn’t get rid of the feeling, or the roots
that create the feeling; it simply relieves the pressure of it momentarily.
Negative emotions may also be unpleasant for the person on the receiving end,
which in turn causes more distress and guilt.
• The third common way to cope with feelings is by attempting to avoid the issue
by attending instead to distractions – by talking, watching TV, eating, smoking,
drinking, taking drugs, having sex, etc. But despite our attempts to escape them,
the feelings are still there – and still take their toll in the form of stress.
But there is another option for handling a feeling – you can focus on it, fully
experience it, and then let go of it: release it, discharge it.
This is the healthiest way to handle a feeling that is consuming us. We’ve all had the
experience of being in the midst of an emotional explosion and then suddenly began
to laugh at ourselves, realising how silly or inappropriate or useless our behaviour is.
In other words we became conscious.
Typical feelings include the following:
* Apathy and related feelings such as cold, cut-off, dead, defeated, depressed,
discouraged, disillusioned, drained, futile, hopeless, lost, numb, overwhelmed,
resigned, shocked, stuck, worthless, neglected, unaccepted, insignificant, lifeless,
abandoned, loveless, pessimistic, rigid, stagnant, stopped, insensitive, disconnected,
depressed, defeated.
* Grief and related feelings such as abandoned, abused, accused, anguished,
ashamed, betrayed, blaming, cheated, embarrassed, helpless, hurt, ignored, left out,
longing, loss, melancholy, misunderstood, neglected, lonely, pity, poor me, regret,
rejection, remorse, sad, unhappy, melancholic, betrayed, discouraged, self-punishing.
* Fear and related feelings such as trapped, anxious, apprehensive, cowardly,
devious, doubt, dread, foreboding, inhibited, insecure, jealous, guilty, nervous,
panicky, scared, secretive, shaky, shy, stage-fright, suspicious, tense, trapped,
withdrawn, worried, threatened, fearful, undesirable.
* Resentment and related feelings such as exploited, harassed, frustrated,
deprived, hurt, embarrassed, used, abused, confused, rejected, offended,
unacknowledged, disappointed, ignored, hidden hostility.
* Anger and related feelings such as aggressive, annoyed, defiant, demanding,
disgusted, fierce, frustrated, furious, hatred, impatience, lack of control, mad, mean,
outraged, rebellious, rude, spiteful, rigid, stern, stubborn, vengeful.
* Antagonism and related compulsive feelings such as aloof, argumentative,
arrogant, boastful, clever, contemptuous, craving, critical, demanding, driven,
envious, frustrated, greedy, impatient, judgmental, manipulative, lack of acceptance
or approval, need to be right, lust, obsessed, pushy, vicious, violent, righteous,
ruthless, selfish, self-satisfied, snobbish, spoiled, superior, unforgiving, vain; wanting
desperately to have or to hurt; wanting to make another wrong.
* Indifference and related feelings such as bored, careless, cautious,
conservative, forgetful, indecisive, lazy, sceptical, tired.
* Enthusiasm and related feelings such as adventurous, alert, amused,
anticipating, aware, competent, confident, courageous, creative, curious, daring,
decisive, desire, eager, friendly, happy, independent, interested, joyful, motivated,
open, positive, proud, resourceful, self-sufficient, strong, supportive, vigorous.
* Love and related feelings such as acceptance, balance, beauty, belonging,
compassion, delight, ecstasy, empathic, open, receptive, secure, understanding,
* Serenity and related feelings such as calm, centred, complete, free, fulfilled,
peaceful, perfect, pure, whole.
Note: the last three are positive feelings – it is important to release on even very good
feelings such as serenity, love and enthusiasm, for driving these feelings are
sometimes hidden and compulsive needs and desires. When you release these good
feelings you feel a physical and emotional release, just as when you release negative
feelings. What lies behind the emotion is something even better, an imperturbable
serenity, the Higher Self.
The Release Procedure
Step One: Locate. First think of some problem area in life – something that is of
great urgency and concern. It may be a relationship with a loved one, a parent or
child; it might be your job, health or fears. Or it might simply be the feeling that you
are experiencing now.
Step Two: Identify your feeling. Determine your feeling about the problem area, or
the current feeling. What word comes to mind? If necessary examine the previous list
of feelings as a reminder. Check on the list also to determine the primary nature of the
feeling – for example, if you perform your releasing operation on fear, rather than
hesitance or worry, you will find the results are much more dramatic and powerful.
Step Three: Focus. What do you really feel? Open yourself up, become aware of the
physical sensations attached to the feeling and focus on them.
Step Four: Feel your feeling. Deliberately create it. Let your feeling inhabit your
entire body and mind. If the feeling is a grief feeling, you may break into tears; if it is
anger, you may feel your blood begin to boil. That’s good – now is the time to feel the
Step Five: Individuate. Become aware of the difference between your Self – YOU –
and what that Self is FEELING. When the feeling is fully experienced and accepted,
there will at some point be a clear sensation that your feeling is not you, so it would
be possible to let go of the feeling.
If you do not feel that it is possible to let the feeling go, feel it some more. Sooner or
later you will reach a point where you can truthfully answer: “Yes, I could let this
feeling go”.
Step Six: Learn the lesson. Spot the underlying thought, assumption, decision or
intention, and how it has been driving your emotions. See now how rational it is in
interpreting your current circumstances, even though it may have seemed appropriate
in the past. What do you learn from this?
The most vital aspect of this process is the learning of life lessons. Unless you
recognize what you are to learn from your negative emotions, they will not release
permanently, because they will have to regenerate again until the lesson is learned
once and for all. After all, the very nature of negative emotions is a message to you —
letting you know that something needs to be learned.
Circumstances create themselves in order to bring an opportunity into your life for the
specific purpose of teaching you a valuable positive learning. When you don’t
recognize the situation as an opportunity to learn, another situation will be created.
And it will continue to be re-created until the lesson is learned.
Step Seven: Release. When will you let this feeling go? Sooner or later you will be
able to answer: “I am willing to let this feeling go now”. So let the feeling go, simply
release it, if you haven’t done so spontaneously. It feels good to let it go – all the builtup
energy that has been held in the body is released. There is a sudden decrease in
physical and nervous tension. You will feel more relaxed, calm, centred.
Step Eight: Check. Do you still have any of the feeling? If some of it is still there
then go through the procedure again. Often releasing is like a well – you release some
and then more arises. Some of our pent-up emotions are so deep that they require a
number of releases.
Once you’ve learned to release you’ll find that simply becoming aware of a feeling is
often enough to trigger a natural, spontaneous release, and you will carry the ability
over into your everyday life, resulting in a stress-free mind and body.
Fixed Emotional Responses
If certain feelings never seem to go away, or if they re-emerge in specific
circumstances in a way that is unwanted and apparently outside your control, then
these are Fixed Emotional Responses. Actually, YOU create your emotions according
to your interpretation of events, they are not directly caused by the circumstances
around you or what happens to you. It is much easier to be both spontaneous and
rational if such fixed responses are released. So now apply the above Release
Procedure to each of the following emotions.
Use the following questions to help you detect if you have such a fixed emotional
“What are some things you don’t really care about?”
“What doesn’t really matter in your life?”
“What is never going to change anyway?”
“Is there anything you can’t do anything about?”
“What don’t you even bother trying to do?”
“Is there anything you just aren’t made for?”
“Is there anything that is hopeless to change?”
“What do you find depressing?”
“Have you ever felt worthless?”
When you spot the emotion of Apathy, Release it.
(Handle similarly)
“What reminds you of something you’ve lost?”
“Think of something sad”
“What is missing in your life?”
“Anything that should be there, but isn’t?”
“Do you feel abused in any way”?
“Have you felt abandoned or betrayed?”
“What makes you unhappy?”
“What are you ashamed of about yourself?”
“What do you wish you hadn’t done?”
“What are you embarrassed about?”
“What about yourself are you trying to hide?”
“Who is responsible for the condition you are in?”
“Who or what do you blame for some situation?”
“What parts of your life are others responsible for?”
“What should you never have done?”
“What part of the past is haunting you?”
“What do you wish you had done?”
“Tell me some mistakes you have made”
“Who do you feel sorry for?”
“Who should you help?”
“Who can’t manage by themselves?”
“What shouldn’t happen?”
“What are you trying to prevent happening?”
“Is there anything threatening you?”
“Is somebody after you?”
“Is anything hidden in your life?”
“What don’t you want to look at?”
“Is any part of your life scary?”
“Who do you hate?”
“Who do you think deserves to suffer?”
“What do you feel like destroying?”
“Who really drives you mad?”
“What do you think is outrageous?”
“Who are you envious of?”
“Who do you think you are superior to?”
“Who or what do you have contempt for?”
“What deserves criticism?”
“What do you find really frustrating?”
“What do you argue about?”
“What are you obsessed about?”
(Unexpressed) Resentment:
“What do you not agree with, but haven’t said openly?”
“What don’t you like about somebody else?”
“What should somebody else not have done to you?”
“Is somebody else doing things differently than you want?”
“What do you have no interest in?”
“Who do you have nothing to do with?”
“What aren’t you going to bother changing?”
“What do you find boring?”
“What are you sceptical about?”
Emotional Expression
These exercises are based on the principle that what you can do consciously and
deliberately you will no longer do unconsciously and compulsively.
1. Consider how you ‘get into’ different emotions. Start with the ones you most
frequently feel and find a particular recent occurrence. Go through the incident: What
do you see? What do you hear? What do you feel, externally and internally? Don’t
accept that it is something that “just happens”. There will be something that either
triggers the emotions (such as something that you say to yourself or think, even
nonverbally) or there will be conditions that you feel are the right ones to have that
emotion, and there will be specific ways that emotion is activated. Then Release that
emotion, with the Procedure above.
2. When you have worked through ones you frequently use, to the point where
you can activate them at will, pick some that you don’t often use but that other people
do. Work out what would be a strategy for getting into such emotions. Then recall a
time when you did have that emotion and Release it.
3. Then work through the following resourceful emotional states. Recall a time
when you felt:
amused, excited, daring, fascinated, stimulated, playful, committed, creative,
proud, caring, appreciative, serene, trusting, peaceful, courageous, determined,
glad, passionate, alluring, zestful, loving, relaxed, interested, enthusiastic,
provocative, ecstatic, centred, curious, energised, intimate, nurturing,
compelling, sexy, sensual, clever, flirtatious, respectful, complete, tranquil,
safe, in agreement, complete, satisfied, productive, involved, sincere,
determined, fortunate, respected, protected, motivated, reckless, delighted,
attractive, excited, fascinated, understanding, welcome, indespensable,
refreshed, responsible, adequate, receptive, amenable, encouraged,
invigorated, deserving, open, optimistic, adaptable, valuable, approachable,
free, fulfilled, compassionate, secure, positive, independent, competent,
strong, aware, decisive.
4. Then work through the following negative emotional states, Releasing each one
after fully experiencing it. Recall a time when you felt:
cold, cut-off, dead, defeated, depressed, discouraged, disillusioned, drained,
futile, hopeless, lost, numb, overwhelmed, resigned, shocked, stuck,
worthless, neglected, unaccepted, insignificant, lifeless, abandoned, loveless,
pessimistic, rigid, stagnant, stopped, insensitive, disconnected, defeated,
Grief & Culpability:
abandoned, abused, accused, anguished, ashamed, betrayed, blaming, cheated,
embarrassed, helpless, hurt, ignored, left out, longing, loss, melancholy,
misunderstood, neglected, pity, poor me, regret, rejection, remorse, sad,
unhappy, melancholic, betrayed, discouraged, self-punishing.
trapped, anxious, apprehensive, cowardly, devious, doubt, dread, foreboding,
inhibited, insecure, jealous, nervous, panicky, scared, secretive, shaky, shy,
stage-fright, suspicious, tense, withdrawn, worried, threatened, fearful,
exploited, harassed, frustrated, deprived, hurt, embarrassed, used, abused,
confused, rejected, offended, unacknowledged, disappointed, ignored, hidden
bitter, exasperated, irate, boiling over, aggressive, furious, hysterical, annoyed,
defiant, demanding, disgusted, fierce, frustrated, furious, hatred, impatience,
out of control, mad, mean, outraged, rebellious, rude, spiteful, stern, stubborn,
vengeful, vicious, violent.
destructive, sarcastic, cynical, critical, aloof, argumentative, arrogant, boastful,
clever, contemptuous, craving, critical, demanding, driven, envious, frustrated,
greedy, impatient, judgmental, manipulative, lack of acceptance or approval,
need to be right, lust, obsessed, pushy, resentment, righteous, rigid, ruthless,
selfish, self-satisfied, snobbish, spoiled, superior, unforgiving, vain; wanting
desperately to have or to hurt; wanting to make another wrong.
bored, careless, cautious, conservative, forgetful, indecisive, lazy, sceptical,
5. Now practise expressing a whole range of different emotions. A simple way is
to take spoken statements from any fictional book and say them with the designated
emotional expression. Really act out the part as if you had been hired at great expense
to play the part in a film.
6. If you look at the earlier list of emotions you’ll notice that they are arranged in
a naturally occurring sequence. Starting at Indifference, the emotions descend in
emotional ‘tone’ through Antagonism, Anger, Fear, Grief and on down to Apathy.
These are all types of ‘victim consciousness’ with a relative absense of love. Going
down in tone, one is increasingly ‘at the effect’ of another force or determinism, with
reduction of choice.
Moving up from Indifference, the emotions rise in tone through Enthusiasm,
Exhilaration, Beauty and on up to Serenity. These are all types of ‘creative
consciousness’ based on love. Going up in tone one is increasingly the creator of one’s
state of being, with increasing choice. Your knowledge, responsibility and control
increase for your circumstances, with a corresponding rise in communication,
understanding and empathy with the people around you.
Find a time where you moved from a higher emotion down through the scale to a
lower emotion, and Release the emotions as you do so.
Do this a few times, then find some incidents where you moved from a lower emotion
up through the scale to a higher emotion, and Release these emotions.
Heart Intelligence & The Celestine Prophecy
How does the ‘Celestine Prophecy’ fit into this?
When James Redfield wrote ‘The Celestine Prophecy’, he crystallized a new spiritual
vision for millions of people around the world. The book provides a model for the
emerging global renaissance already under way … an awakening that will reshape our
world in the new millennium. This vision encompasses many diverse ideas;
psychological, historical, political, scientific, spiritual and even mystical. These are
the primary ‘insights’ or ways forward originally outlined by Redfield and redescribed
1. Search for Meaning.
Spiritual awakening begins with the recognition of an inner urge to find more
meaning in life than the issue of bodily survival or day-to-day mundane matters. We
may be quite happy but a deeper truth eludes us – yet we know it is there. As we
respond to this inner prompting and step back to look more objectively, we begin to
notice “chance coincidences,” that are really no coincidence but rather synchronistic
events in our life. This synchronicity demonstrates that an underlying process is
operating, that there is a causative factor underlying the material and mechanical –
spiritual forces that oneself is playing a part in.
2. A Larger Perspective.
While the preoccupation with survival and comfort has been a necessary step in Man’s
development, many are now awakening to the real purpose of our life on this planet,
and the real nature of our universe. We observe our culture within its proper historical
context. The first half of the past millennium was spent under the thumb of the
church; in the second half we became preoccupied with material comfort. Now, at the
end of the twentieth century, we begin to see how conditioned we are by our
upbringing and the media, and by our own decisions and belief systems. We’re ready
to question everything in order to discover life’s ultimate purpose – and our actual
purpose in being here.
3. Conscious Energy.
The next stage in our raising of consciousness is the realisation that the universe is
living, that all is conscious and a dynamic energy, including ourselves. We begin to
see our connectedness. We become aware of the subtle energy that infuses all things
and the relationship we have with that energy, and of the emotional energy that is so
easily misdirected by negative thought but which also can empower our greatest acts
and most noble goals. By consciously becoming co-creators we can have a positive
effect on our world, by focusing our attention in the desired direction.
4. The Compulsion to Be Right.
When we feel we are right, when we get attention from others, we feel more
energised. This results in an unconscious competition for energy which underlies all
conflicts. By dominating or manipulating others, we get the extra energy we think we
need. Sure, it feels good temporarily – but both parties are damaged in the conflict. As
we begin to become aware of these power struggles and their futulity, we learn that
there is, actually, no lack of energy – that we are part of an unlimited Source of energy
and there is no reason to feel weak and insecure.
5. A Sense of Oneness.
By connecting with the divine energy within ourselves, this empowers us in a way
described by mystics of all traditions. We sense our oneness with everything and this
enables us to encompass all with love. This mystical experience is the key to
overcoming conflict in the world, and it is available to everyone. To nurture the
mystical and build your energy, allow yourself to be filled with a sense of love.
6. Clearing the Way.
By experiencing connectedness we then become acutely aware of those times when
we lose connection, usually when we are under stress. By viewing objectively – in the
present – we can see that this stress is self-imposed, the result of mis-conceived ideas
carried over from the past, that cause us to interpret circumstances wrongly and to feel
self-defeating and inappropriate painful emotions. In these times, we can see how we
try to recover control by manipulating others – such ways as intimidation, being
judgemental, making others feel small or by attracting sympathy. How this occurs is
described in the online book, Transforming the Mind. Once our manipulations are
brought to personal awareness – as we become, emotionally, more intelligent – our
connection becomes more constant and we can discover our own growth path in life,
and our spiritual mission: the personal way we can contribute to the world. Sound
personal development techniques can help in this process, such as contained in the
Tools for Transformation course Living Consciously.
7. Personal Transformation.
Through contemplation and meditation, focusing on your basic questions about life,
you start riding a steady stream of intuitions, dreams, and synchronistic coincidences,
all guiding you in the direction of your own evolution and transformation. Without
help, this process may take many years and have frequent reversals, but progress can
be greatly accelerated through the application of transformational techniques, such as
the advanced Tools for Transformation course, Meta-Programming
8. Widening Our Scope.
To take our transformation further, we need to widen the scope of our responsibility,
to uplift every person that comes into our lives. We are here to support and teach each
other. Talk to people who make spontaneous eye contact with you. Avoid
codependent relationships. Be there for people. Empower people to look objectively
at their thoughts and to release their true feelings, and so gain integrity. In groups,
speak when the spirit – your intuitive knowingness – moves you.
9. A New Age.
As more and more people work toward completing their spiritual missions, this will
start to have a profound affect on the culture. It will ‘catch on’ and there will be a
quantum jump in consciousness. Such growth will move humans into higher energy
states, uniting this dimension of existence with the after-life dimension, ending the
mechanical cycle of death and rebirth that occurs due to limited awareness, fixed
ideas and compulsive attachments.
10. Manifesting The Vision.
Throughout history human beings have been struggling to express the spirituality that
we all feel lies deep within us. Religion has tapped into this but without providing a
way to personally develop our spirituality and to overcome the obstacles. We each
incarnate with a mission, and as we pull this understanding into consciousness, our
life takes new meaning. We sense a common world vision of how we can all work
together to create a new spiritual culture. We know that our challenge is to hold this
vision and work towards it with all our heart.
Redfield’s profound vision will hopefully have inspired and motivated you to travel
the spiritual path and manifest those insights in your life. However, most of us need
help to begin the journey, to overcome obstacles and to complete its realisation. The
Meta-Programming course is designed for exactly this purpose.
The core skill of emotional intellence is remaining truthful with oneself; from this
develops integrity and personal authenticity. Insight techniques take ‘knowing oneself’
still further, to ever deeper levels. Where one is no longer wearing masks or running
from shadows, one discovers the true spiritual identity, the Higher Self. In Latin, the
word emotion means ‘the spirit that moves us’. The source of that energy is YOU.
Meta-Programing is a set of special procedures which you apply to yourself, with
the aid of biofeedback monitoring, in order to differentiate the spiritual part of your
being from the mental and physical. From the viewpoint of the Higher Self it becomes
possible to rise above the programming imprinted by the experiences and cultural
conditioning of your current lifetime and beyond. This is the process of ‘metaprogramming’:
to go beyond or transcend programming.
The well-proven techniques are designed to resolve the conundrums, dilemmas and
dichotomies that arise from being essentially spiritual and immortal, but living within
a survival-driven body and environment. It is a life-enhancing approach, and holistic
in that it is about integrating your spiritual life with all of your everyday activities and
goals – in the here-and-now.
Fulfiling Your Potential
Transformation occurs when existing solutions, assumed truths and past decisions are
exposed as unrealistic, and this new insight allows one to view from a more
appropriate and empowering perspective. I shall endeavour to provide new materials
in each of this ‘Tools for Heart Intelligence’ series, that explain why people behave the
way they do and how you can transcend these limitations.
One of the foundations of transformational psychology is Maslow’s theory of human
needs, developed in the 1970’s. Maslow believed that people are not merely controlled
by mechanical forces (the stimuli and reinforcement of behaviorism) or the
unconscious instinctual impulses that psychoanalysis emphasises. Maslow preferred
to focus on human potential, believing that humans strive to express their capabilities
fully, and that this is the basis for happiness.
People who seek the frontiers of creativity and strive to reach higher levels of
consciousness and wisdom, were described by Maslow as ‘self-actualizing’
individuals. Transformational psychology is not therapy, it is information and
techniques to enable healthy persons to make their lives even better, to fulfill their
potential – it is for you.
Maslow set up a hierarchical theory of needs in which the basic survival needs are the
first priority, and the needs concerned with man’s highest potential follow on when
other needs have been met.
1. Physiological Needs
The needs for oxygen, food, water and a relatively constant body temperature. These
needs are the strongest because if deprived, the person would die.
2. Safety Needs
Children often display signs of insecurity and their need to be safe. Adults, too, need
the security of a home and means of income, and often have an underlying fear that
these may be lost, e.g. in war or times of social unrest, or due to misfortune. Fear is
the opposite flow to need. Accompanying any need for something is an equivalent
fear of losing or not obtaining it.
3. Mastery Needs
This is the need to be able to get one’s own way, to establish some control over one’s
situation and environment, to express some degree of personal power, to be able to
communicate and obtain objectives.
4. Needs for Love, Affection and Belonging
People need to escape feelings of loneliness and alienation and to give (and receive)
love and affection, and to have a sense of belonging with high quality communication
(with understanding and empathy).
5. Esteem Needs
People need to feel good about themselves, to feel that they have earned the respect of
others, in order to feel satisfied, self confident and valuable. If these needs are not
met, the person feels inferior, weak, helpless and worthless.
6. Self-actualization Needs
Maslow describes self-actualization as a person’s need to be and do that for which the
person has a vocation. It is his ‘calling’, a full expression of his or her creative
potential. It is to be autonomous and fully-functioning. If these needs are not met, the
person feels restless and frustrated, even if successful in other respects.
One reason that a person does not move through the needs to self-actualization is
because of the hindrances placed in their way by society. For example, education can
act to inhibit a person’s potential (though also of course it can promote personal
growth). So can other aspects of the family and culture act to condition and funnel an
individual into a role that is not fulfilling. To escape this conditioning, a person has to
awaken to their situation, to realize that their life could be different, that there are
changes that can be made in the direction of self-actualization.
To promote our personal growth, we can learn to be authentic, to be aware of our
inner selves and to hear our inner feelings and needs. We can begin to transcend our
own cultural conditioning and become world citizens. We can help our children
discover their talents and creative skills, to find the appropriate career and
complementary partner. We can demonstrate that life is precious, that there is joy to
be experienced in life, and that if one is open to seeing the good – and humorous – in
all kinds of situations, this makes life worth living.
The Highest Need
I have described Maslow’s Hierarchy of Human Needs, in which the basic survival
needs are the first priority, and the needs concerned with man’s highest potential
follow on when other needs have been met – needs for love and affection, control and
self-esteem needs and the need for self-actualization, i.e. to find and fully express
one’s true self.
There is one further need that Maslow didn’t mention. Though he probably intended it
to be included as a self-actualization need, really it deserves its own category. This is:
The need for a higher truth
This is the need to make contact with the creative force that is beyond the human
personality, to make sense of all the suffering and injustices of the survival struggle
on earth. This need has been evident in all cultures, expressed by all religions, and is
the spiritual path towards enlightenment, towards knowing God, towards discovering
the truth of All That Is.
It is only by having at least a glimmer of this spirituality that we each are part of, that
we can aspire to the highest potential of being human. To be able to genuinely love
and to forgive unconditionally, we need to see in all others – even our enemies – the
same essential quality that we ourselves are part of. Spirituality is a transpersonal
quality, it is beyond the ego and obsession with the self. It is the maturity of intuition.
The path of personal transformation is primarily a process of becoming aware of,
facing up to and taking responsibility for one’s thoughts, feelings and actions, and
then expanding this self-realisation by communicating with others, retaining integrity
whatever the response, and further enhancing the quality of communication with everincreasing
empathy and understanding. Through understanding others better, we can
recognize their essential goodwill, however misguided it might have become, and
begin to recognize the spirituality of humankind.
But first we need to know ourselves better. The psychologist Nethaniel Brandon
developed a technique called Sentence Completion, to help his clients uncover and
communicate their true feelings, that previously were suppressed. This denial of
feelings and true wishes or desires occurs because of fear that acting on them or
communicating them will bring scorn or ridicule – in short, will upset the apple cart.
But to continue suppressing what one truly wants is to die inside, to lose integrity.
Try completing the following sentences, with as much honesty and frankness as you
can muster. Move on to the next one when you have uncovered an awareness that you
were previously suppressing. And then put this self-realisation into action in your life.
I am a person who …
One of the things I’d like people to know about me is …
One of the things I have to do to survive is …
All my life, I …
It isn’t easy for me to admit …
Sometimes I feel frustrated when …
If I didn’t care what people thought, I would …
Ever since I was a child, I …
One of the things I’d like to be valued and appreciated for is …
One of the things I wish (people/my partner/my parents) understood about me is …
One of the things I appreciate about my (partner/friend/family/colleague) is …
One of the things that first attracted me to my (partner/friend/colleague) was …
I feel loved and appreciated by my (partner/friend/family/colleague) when ..
I feel especially happy with my (partner/friend/colleague/family) when …
I feel sexually stimulated by my (partner/friend) when he/she …
If I were to communicate all this to my (partner/friend/family/colleague) then …
I am becoming aware that …
The Evolution of Personality
A baby’s rational mind is almost a blank slate and the infant is instinctively keen to
learn and develop. For cognitive growth to occur, a child must orient himself to
novelty and respond to it with exploration. So long as the child operates within the
protective environment provided by mother, anxiety is low and learning can proceed.
But if the child’s exploration arouses maternal rejection or punishment, anxiety is
aroused in a strong form, because the child is dependent on mother and fears
desertion. The child can resolve this dilemma only through compromise: he
voluntarily restricts his activities within the boundaries acceptable to the mother. He
avoids, denies or suppresses the emotional responses which – although natural
reactions to frustration – are unacceptable to mother. This creates a social environment
of adaptedness within which he can feel at ease with himself.
These patterns of responding are not forgotten; they remain as unclarified memories
that are not incorporated cognitively into the rules by which a person explains himself
– in other words, they are unconscious. But they still take effect. Fear hurts; as an
experience it is normally avoided. So, with no clear understanding as to why, a person
comes to shy away from certain kinds of social experience that sufficiently resemble
the original circumstances that created anxiety as an infant. The original fears are restimulated
and the safe (compromise) solutions that the child adopted are re-enacted.
The ‘unconscious,’ then, refers to those memories that were once attended to so
vividly that they cannot be erased but which, because of the fear with which they
were associated, triggered so much avoidance that they failed to be incorporated in
the cognitive rules that construct the understanding of the self. Indeed the interpretive
brain is only partly formed when the infant experiences its early trauma; these
experiences are thus laid down in the ‘old brain’, the evolutionarily primitive but very
powerful limbic system, which has major influences on emotional life.
In later life, defense is not so much against the ancient memories as such, for they are
in any case barely available without extensive psychological work; rather it consists
in a failure to process information which tends to arouse anxiety and for which no
rules of incorporation have been established. The person either has blind spots and
tunnel vision that cuts off unacceptable views and options, or the information is
distorted to an acceptable form.
It thus comes about that personality types unconsciously seek to create for themselves
social environments which do not arouse in them the fears of their primal experiences.
These processes are inevitable characteristics of being human, the evolved basis upon
which the diversity of human personality types rests. Because the exact nature and
combination of their experiences differs significantly – not to mention genetic and
spiritual predispositions – no two personalities are alike, though broad trends are
Jung suggested that the repressed material revealed in dreams, fantasies, and
evocative folk legends and mythology, is far from arbitrary; rather it tends to be
patterned in a highly thematic way. Jung’s intuition may be based on a universal
responsiveness found in human affairs; each of us has a mother, a father, attempts to
be a hero, seeks the wise man, and other such ‘archetypal’ ways of being.
These considerations suggest that most adult human beings actually comprehend few
of their sources of action and impulse and are often far from knowing consciously
what they are about. What we profess to know is usually a rationalization of what has
impelled or directed us from within. This includes sources such as innate bio-survival
impulses for sexual proliferation and territorial dominance, though these may be
suppressed for social acceptibility; archetypal themes that pattern unconscious
expression drawn from bedrock structures of human family and society, as well as
cultural conditioning, where ways of being are learned and acquired by identification;
frustrating and traumatic experiences in infancy patterning our social boundaries;
decisions made as a consequence of traumatic experiences in later life – the memories
of which may be suppressed, especially if they restimulate similar connected trauma
or frustrations – that are carried over to act in the present.
So how do you get out of this morass of conditioning? Traditionally, meditative and
shemanic practices were used to shake-up the everyday modes of consciousness, to
get a glimpse of alternatives. In this century, Jungian deep psychoanalysis attempts to
expose the archetypes, and more recently psychosynthesis has been developed along
similar lines. Rebirthing and primal techniques are intense ways of regressing into the
heart of infant emotional trauma, to lay bare the connections with current behaviour.
Gurdjieff techniques attempt to expose patterned ways of being and doing and so
‘shock’ you into awakening. Some have taken substances to obtain a new viewpoint,
others get a different view from the peak of high-risk experiences such as mountain
climbing, or the ego-less flow induced by various aesthetic experiences. Many mind
tools help to obtain a new state of consciousness.
The problem with some of these approaches is that although they stimulate a change
of consciousness, they can leave the participant in a limbo, stuck in unresolved earlier
experiences or crashing from a high point back to lower than they started, with the
frustration of not being able to obtain that point so easily again. But just as “a child
must orient himself to novelty and respond to it with exploration” in order to move
forward, so must we as adults aiming to further develop ourselves.
Transformational psychology approaches this task from a present time point of view
and examines objectively the content of one’s belief system of assumptions,
evaluations and decisions carried over to the present, to release those that are
irrational, inappropriate, or simply acquired and not your own. When this is done
effectively – and I’ve found that in advanced stages, biofeedback monitoring is
necessary to get beyond intellectual rationalising and really expose the truth of issues
– the past traumatic emotional charge drops away. It no longer has the ‘hooks’ into the
present that were provided by the various imprinted considerations, that have now
been exposed and released. This is a relatively painless and safe procedure, that can
be self-administered. Future articles will introduce some of these methods and for
those who want to really dig in, there are courses described on my Tools for
Transformation web site. With the new millennium on our doorstep, there has never
been a better time.
Why Do People Behave the Way They Do?
For cognitive growth to occur, a child must orient himself to novelty and respond to it
with exploration. So long as the child operates within the protective environment
provided by mother, anxiety is low and learning can proceed. But if the child’s
exploration arouses maternal rejection or punishment, anxiety is aroused in a strong
form, because the child is dependent on mother and fears desertion. The child can
resolve this dilemma only through compromise: he voluntarily restricts his activities
within the boundaries acceptable to the mother. He avoids, denies or suppresses the
emotional responses which, although natural reactions to frustration, are unacceptable
to mother. This creates a social environment of adaptedness within which he can feel
at ease with himself.
These patterns of responding are not forgotten; they remain as unclarified memories
that are not incorporated cognitively into the rules by which a person explains himself
– in other words, they are unconscious. But they still take effect. Fear hurts; as an
experience it is normally avoided. So, with no clear understanding as to why, a person
comes to shy away from certain kinds of social experience that sufficiently resemble
the original circumstances that created anxiety as an infant. The original fears are restimulated
and the safe solutions that the child adopted are re-enacted.
The ‘unconscious’, then, refers to those memories that were once attended to so
vividly that they cannot be erased but which, because of the fear with which they
were associated, triggered so much avoidance that they failed to be incorporated in
the cognitive rules that construct the understanding of the self. Indeed the interpretive
brain is not fully formed when the infant experiences its early trauma; these
experiences are thus laid down in the ‘old brain’, the primitive (in evolutionary terms)
but powerful and very fast-acting limbic system which has major influences on
emotional response.
In later life, defense is not so much against the ancient memories as such, for they are
in any case barely available without extensive psychological work; rather it consists
in a failure to process information which tends to arouse anxiety and for which no
rules of incorporation have been established. The person either has blind spots and
tunnel vision that cuts off unacceptable views, or the information is distorted to an
acceptable form.
It thus comes about that personality types unconsciously seek to create for themselves
social environments which do not arouse in them the fears of the primal experience.
These processes are inevitable characteristics of being human, the evolved basis upon
which the diversity of human personality types rests.
Jung suggested that the repressed material as revealed in dreams, fantasies, and
evocative folk legends and tales, is far from arbitrary; rather it tends to be patterned in
a highly thematic way. Jung’s intuition may be based on a universal responsiveness
found in human affairs; each of us has a mother, a father, attempts to be a hero, seeks
the wise man, and other such ‘archetypes’.
These considerations suggest that most adult human beings actually comprehend few
of their sources of action and impulse and are often far from knowing consciously
what they are about. What we profess to know is usually a rationalization of what has
impelled or directed us from within. This includes sources such as innate bio-survival
impulses for sexual proliferation and territorial dominance, though these may be
suppressed for social acceptibility; archetypal themes that pattern unconscious
expression drawn from bedrock structures of human family and society, as well as
cultural conditioning where ways of being are learned and acquired by identification;
frustrating and traumatic experiences in infancy patterning our social boundaries;
decisions made as a consequence of traumatic experiences in later life, that are carried
over to act in the present, even though the original associated trauma is suppressed
from memory and may be empowered by the infancy trauma.
The normal human personality is rife with unconscious or semi-conscious conflicts
and limitations, resulting in unhappiness, upsets and depression, and an inhibition of
potential self-realization. Healing is not just about aleviating symptoms, it is about
discovering the cause of a problem, which ultimately comes down to the individual
assuming responsibility for his decisions and choices in the present time. We need to
expose the blind spots and distortions and to re-evaluate our present environment
newly and objectively. It’s never to late to change the early programming that was
imprinted in childhood or even in our genes or carried over from previous existences.
The life scripts based on which we act out our lives can be replaced with new world
views that are empowering rather than self-defeating, based on our adult reason rather
than childhish fear, greed and envy.
Question everything you think.
Is it a false assumption?
An over-generalization?
Is it copying someone else you like or admire?
Do you think that way because you need to?
Because you fear not to?
Do you prevent yourself from thinking something because you are afraid to, because
of consequences that you fear?
Is it to get another’s approval?
To gain admiration?
To escape domination?
To make yourself right?
To make another wrong?
To punish yourself, because you deserve it?
To please or appease another?
Because your parents or friends say so?
Because it’s on TV or in a book?
Because God says so?
Because you’d like it to be so or wish it were so?
Because you know it isn’t so but the lie is useful?
Because you have to?
Because it’s the way you feel?
Because it’s convenient?
Because it helps you to fit in?
Because they deserve it?
By being totally objective and reality-based in our thinking, we move out of the leftbrain
mode of rationalised thought, with its potential for lies and fabrication, towards
a new mode of thought that integrates fully with the right brain and its quality of
honesty (the right brain cannot lie!) and intuitive truthfullness.
Man as a Social Being
From the sociological point of view, the normal man is an individual who lives in
society and whose mode of life is so adapted that society derives a certain benefit
from his life style. From the psychological point of view, he has enough energy and
courage to meet the problems and difficulties of life as they come along.
Social interest is the inevitable compensation for all the natural weaknesses of human
beings. Social interest is a way of life; it is an optimistic feeling of confidence in
oneself, and a genuine interest in the welfare and well-being of others. The human
being is clearly a social being, needing a much longer period of dependence upon
others before maturity than any animal. As long as the feeling of inferiority is not too
great, a person will always strive to be worthwhile and on the useful side of life,
because this gives him the feeling of being valuable which originates from
contribution to the common welfare.
The child soon learns that his aims and goals in life are not attained without
movement, striving and effort. Thus in order to reach fulfillment, the child adopts a
strategy. Inferiority feelings influence the adoption of misguided and limiting safe
solutions as survival strategies. The child’s attitude towards the problems of life is
governed by this early ‘life script’. The preliminary social problems met in
childhood (friendships, schooling and relationship to the other sex) provide tests of
the individual’s preparation for social living, and these may reinforce the life script or
cause it to be adjusted in positive or negative directions.
The social problems of adulthood are the realities of friendship, comradeship and
social contact; those of one’s occupation or profession; and those of love and
marriage. It is failure to face and meet them directly which results in neurosis, and
perhaps in mental ill-health (which has been defined in simple terms as: madness,
badness and sadness). It has been well said that the neurotic turns half-away from life,
while the insane person turns his back on it; it may be added that those possessed of
sufficient social courage face it!
Happiness in life depends to a considerable extent on the degree of social interest and
ability to co-operate which the child has developed, with the help and encouragement
of his parents and teachers. Successful men and woman are those who have learned
the art of co-operation, and who face life with that attitude – an attitude born of
courage and self-confidence. Such a person faces difficulties head- on, but is not
plunged into despondency and despair by defeat or failure. His life- style is
characterised by an easy approach to life, the absence of over-anxiety and a friendly
tolerance towards his fellows. The need to escape into neurosis is very small.
There is only one reason for a person to side-step to the useless side: the fear of defeat
on the useful side – his flight from the solution of one of the social problems of life. If
the person is unprepared for social living he will not continue his path to selfactualisation
on the socially useful side; instead of confronting his problems he will
try to gain distance from them. Those who fail socially in life are not ready to cooperate;
they are too self-centred – they think always of themselves, and they do so
because they lack confidence and courage – in other words, they are afraid of life.
Such individuals do not feel able or prepared to deal with their problems. Because of
a sense of inadequacy and inferiority they lead unhappy, incomplete, frustrated and
unsatisfactory lives. Fear, then, is at the root of all such misery in life.
The seeking of distance from problems (through hesitating, halting and detouring) at
various stages of life and in the face of social problems, results in striving directed at
exaggerated private goals of personal superiority, to make up for the felt inferiority.
Artists provide a compensatory function for society by illustrating for us in their
fiction how to see, feel and think in the face of the problems of life, and how to turn
from denial to face challenges anew, in order to eventually succeed. The neurotic
aims for a goal of personal superiority, without handling the upsets of his work, his
home life and his various personal relationships. Such neurosis is sustained by
misunderstandings acquired by assimilation, particularly during the first 5 years, but
also through the many ways that misguided ideas can be identified with throughout
one’s development. The fixity of such ideas may result in a refusal to observe
objectively in the present time – which is the only way to solve life’s problems in an
open-minded manner and succeed in a socially beneficial way.
Neurotics, psychotics, criminals, alcoholics, vandals, prostitutes, drug addicts,
perverts, etc are lacking in social interest. They approach the problems of occupation,
friendships and sex without the confidence that they can be solved by co-operation.
Their interest stops short at their own persons – their idea of success in life is selfcentered,
and their triumphs have meaning only to themselves.
Reasoning which has general validity is intelligence that is connected with social
interest. Whereas isolated private intelligence may seem ‘clever’ to the individual
concerned but conflicts with social needs and therefore is of little value. In the case of
a neurotic failure in life, his reasoning may be ‘intelligent’ within his own frame of
reference, but is nevertheless socially insane. For example, a thief said: “The young
man had plenty of money and I had none; therefore I took it”. Since this criminal does
not think himself capable of acquiring money in the normal manner, in the socially
useful way, there is actually nothing left for him but robbery. So the criminal
approaches his goal through his own kind of ‘intelligent’ argument: a private, negative
kind of intelligence, that does not include social interest or responsibility.
Negative intelligence includes all the distortions of analytical thinking that may occur,
such as justifications, excuses, rationalisations, generalisations – all ways to be ‘right’,
to provide a safe solution. In each case, there is a failure to observe, a refusal to
notice. The goal of striving for self-expression has been misdirected to a goal for
personal superiority. They may be correctly co-ordinated in a frame of reference on
the useless side of life, but the person lacks the courage and the interest that is
necessary for the socially useful solution of the problems of life.
True intelligence is IQ multiplied by the degree of social involvement in life (through
sex, family, work, play, education and all kinds of local, national and international
groupings and involvements) which in turn requires personal stability and social
skills, the facets of emotional intelligence. When the individual’s interest is too selfcentred,
he feels that he is socially impotent or a nobody; he feels alienated from his
fellow man. The person who is socially integrated feels at home in this world, and this
gives him courage and an optimistic view. He does not regard the adversities of life as
a personal injustice; he is not alone.
Discovering Fixed Ideas
In practice, life for most of us falls far short of what it could be. We experience
negative feelings and emotions – hate, pain, jealousy, grief. Our thinking can be
distorted or even delusional, as when we grow paranoid about others’ intentions or
attitudes, or overly pessimistic about our own abilities and worth. Also, our behaviour
can be destructive. Too often, in a fit of rage or despair, we say or do things we very
soon come to regret. These unwanted aspects of life tend to fall in three categories:
Negative feelings – inappropriate attitudes, emotions, sensations and pains.
Distorted thinking – misconceptions, delusions and fixed ideas.
Dysfunctional behaviour – self-defeating compulsions or inhibitions.
Without these factors we would have a planet full of people who were basically
happy, productive , and loving and helpful to one another; willing to give another
their own space, to be tolerant of their differing views, beliefs and feelings. In the
presence of these aberrative factors we have war, twisted relationships and broken
dreams – in short, the human condition.
When a person adopts a safe solution to the problems he has achieving the survival,
belonging and self-esteem needs of life, he clings to it as a new identity, and the ideas
connected with this way of being become fixed. Because fixed ideas are not
necssarily appropriate in changing circumstances, conflicts arise with others and
mistakes and indiscretions occur about which the person feels guilt or shame. He may
then seek to justify (rather than take responsibility for) these actions and so the ideas
become further entrenched, causing long-standing problems and life stress, and
greatly restricted tolerance and willingness to communicate with others. A person can
become very out of touch, even with physical reality, and retreat into a schizophrenic
unreality or depressive illness.
Sometimes past traumatic events are brought forward into the present by a similarity
of circumstances. The excessive stimulation of the original event is regenerated by the
current one. This restimulation can cause a reliving of the original emotional trauma
and also a ‘dramatisation’ of the negative decisions and conclusions that may have
been made as a result of the original incident; again the identity of the time is acted
out, in a fixed way that is regardless of the changing curcumstances.
Restimulation also applies to factors mentioned above, such as certain situations in
which fixed safe solutions are played out, or which remind of past misdeeds, or
stressful situations, failures, or upsets with others. When you REACT you become a
different person! You are taken over by a programmed identity/way of being, you are
no longer objective nor truly sane.
A fixed idea may become an obsession, a compulsion or inhibition which is hard to
keep at bay. This neurotic condition can deteriorate into psychosis if the individual is
no longer aware of the behaviour problem, but is totally identified with the way of
being that is unknowingly and reactively being dramatised.
A psychotic, even a child murderer, is still a person trying to do the right thing, but
his solutions are inappropriate, hopelessly misguided and dramatised totally
reactively, in a mechanical stimulus-response fashion, so the the real person – with his
innate senses of ethics and empathy – is pretty much burried.
These are the things of life, and every approach to therapy and development –
whatever the intellectual waffle that surrounds the issues – has to deal with them to be
Practical: Discovering Fixed Ideas
Finding fixed ideas is both a sport and an art, and not at all a rote procedure. The key
way of tracking down the actual fixed ideas is by challenging any kind of logic your
mind presents you with, demanding explanations and asking what is behind it. You
need to be very direct and inquisitive. You don’t waste time listening to stories or
reactions that the mind throws up, you are after pieces of frozen logic. Some of the
questions that can be useful for this are:
“Can you explain that?”
“What principle is behind that?”
You need to challenge or investigate the ideas you are most sure about, not the stuff
you are aware of having problems and reactions about.
These are some general questions that can be used to weed out fixed ideas:
1. “What things do you say to put others in their place?”
2. “Do you have ways of dominating others?”
3. “Are there any ideas that make your life better?”
4. “Are there things about which you are sure you are right?”
5. “How do you prevent anybody else from getting the upper hand?”
6. “What ideas and beliefs do you firmly consider to be true?”
7. “What ideas are constantly with you in your life?”
8. “What things in your life would you not be willing to change?”
9. “What principles do you use in dealing with other people?”
10. “What are your principles for evaluating things?”
11. “What don’t you want to get involved in? Why?”
12. “What don’t you like? Why?”
13. “What is an acceptable level of activity? Why?”
14. “What bothers you about others? Why?”
15. “What routines do you follow in day to day life? Why?”
16. “Is there anything you do to prove you are different?”
17. “What basic ideas about life guarantee your personal survival?”
18. “What do you use to make people feel sorry for you?”
19. “What weaknesses have you shown to get people to do things for you?”
20. “What must people think of you for you to feel alright about yourself?”
21. “What ways do you get people to pay attention to you?”
You can also systematically go through what the you are doing in different aspects of
your life. Consider how you go about things, what your routines and operating
principles are. Notice what you are avoiding and how. Notice what isn’t subject to
change. Dig into it.
If you get hold of a clear-cut fixed idea, that you can see is something you’ve been
holding onto blindly as a safe solution, these are a series of questions you can ask to
help you release it:
1. What would (fixed idea) get a person into?
2. What would (fixed idea) get a person out of?
3. How would (fixed idea) help a person win?
4. How would (fixed idea) make others lose?
5. How would (fixed idea) give a person power?
6. How would (fixed idea) make others less powerful?
7. How would (fixed idea) make a person feel right?
8. How would (fixed idea) make others feel wrong?
9. What might be the advantages of (fixed idea)?
10. What might be the disadvantages of (fixed idea)?
11. How would (fixed idea) make a person feel strong?
12. How would (fixed idea) make others feel weak? (or overwhelmed)
13. How would (fixed idea) make a person feel in control?
14. What is right about (fixed idea)?
15. What could (fixed idea) be a solution for?
16. What could (fixed idea) be used to justify?
17. How would (fixed idea) aid a person’s survival?
18. How would (fixed idea) hinder the survival of others?
19. How would (fixed idea) help a person to dominate others?
20. How would (fixed idea) help a person escape the domination of others?
21. How would (fixed idea) make a person feel free?
22. How could (fixed idea) be used to enslave others?
23. How could a person use (fixed idea) to help others realize they are wrong?
24. How could a person use (fixed idea) to avoid the influence of others?
25. What would (fixed idea) allow a person to do?
26. What would (fixed idea) allow a person to have?
27. What would (fixed idea) allow a person to be?
28. What would (fixed idea) allow a person to produce?
29. What would (fixed idea) allow a person to feel?
30. What would (fixed idea) allow a person to sense?
31. What would (fixed idea) allow a person to accomplish?
Once you get a realisation and feel the fixed idea is released, do not continue asking
these kind of questions; just let it go and move on – enjoy your new freedom of
Moral Development
The highest stages of personal development arise from a parallel development of our
cognitive faculties and our ethical nature. A large part of moral development
consists of letting go of social conditioning. Through moral development, the ability
is gained to step outside of social reality and objectively reassess the agreed-upon
morality of the current culture.
The current morality exists, as do all moralities, to promote the survival of particular
groups. We can escape from the social reality of our culture, not so much by rebelling
against it but by adopting the bridge of a new moral philosophy, based upon a much
more enlightened and scientific way of looking at the world. This is based on
objective observation of the reality that exists. Whether a person has his eyes open
or shut, whether he is there in person or not, the nature of the physical universe
remains in existence and cannot be rationally denied. Gravity for example, is a reality
you’d better believe in; it is senior to whether you are a Christian or a Jew; senior to
any religion or belief system: if you fall out of a window, you will hurt your head!
Cognitive maturation
Jean Piaget, a child psychologist, traced four broad stages in the logical and cognitive
development of children, in his studies from the 1930s to the ’70s. The first stage,
from birth to two years, is the stage of Sensori-Motor intelligence: the infant’s coordination
of reflexes and sensori-motor repetition, leading up to basic recall of
absent objects and to an experimental search for new means to achieve pleasurable
ends, bounded by what the child can physically perform and observe being
The second stage, of the toddler up to 5 years, is the stage of Pre-logical intuitive
thought. This is a period of ‘magical thinking’ in the sense that he easily confuses
apparent or imagined events with real events. He would, if allowed, jump out of a
window expecting to fly, because he has seen birds fly. It is something of a ‘dream
world’; a toy car is very much the realthing to a toddler. This is a state commonly
regressed to by those on hallucinogenic drugs.
The third stage, between 6 – 10, is Concrete Operational thought, when the child can
symbolise (i.e. can make a concrete mental image of) operations, without having to do
them physically. He learns to classify and relate, and to measure distances and
quantities, and thereby performs constructive thinking. Contact with the environment
is maintained during such mental operations, because by reversing them, a return to
the perceived form is always possible.A child will build and knock down Lego
constructions. Concrete operations are the foundation upon which more abstract
intellectual operations can be built.
The fourth stage, from age 10 to adulthood, is Formal Operations. Having a wealth
of concrete information which he is unable to understand, the child attempts to
rearrange this information in order to simplify it. He discovers he can do this by
keeping some variables constant, while he experiments with the others. The child
induces generalised laws which he can apply to data of the most diverse kinds. The
child can think about thoughts, classify classifications, and ‘operate on operations’ and
so conceive of general laws behind the array of particular instances. Hypotheses can
be made and tested, and implications deduced, through scientific experiment.
Frequently, adults do not complete the development of Formal Operations; many do
not even have a reliable ability to make Concrete Operations. But if the final stage of
true formal thought is reached, either naturally or through assisted mental
development, there will be spontaneous attempts to increase mental capacity still
further, to complete the process of maturation. This is Pierre de Chardin’s point of
ignition; a point at which a person has become sufficiently self-aware to attempt to
direct his own course of mental evolution. A fifth stage of development would then
follow, called Mature Intuition (or Metavert, transcending introvert and extravert
orientations). When this stage is reached, all significant cognitive structures of the
first four stages have sufficient maturity to be utilised pre-reflectively or intuitively.
Beyond this, Full Realisation is a state in which one recognizes and takes
responsibility for the hidden spiritual sources of all conditions of existence – this is a
goal for achievement on Meta-Programming.
Moral maturation
Transition from stage to stage is by conflict and dis-equilibrium, followed by
equilibration, as the individual both assimilates the environment and adapts it to
himself. Piaget also believed that moral conceptions went through such sequences, a
notion that Lawrence Kohlberg at Harvard has taken much further, to a widely
researched theory of the development of moral judgement A Structuralist*
philosopher, Kohlberg has likened the six stages of moral development (shown in the
Table below) to an ascent from the shadows of Plato’s allegorical cave into the
sunlight of True Justice. [*Structuralism looks first to the principles by which an
entire phenomenon is organised, and only then interprets the elements within that
structure according to their relationships with the whole.]
From about the age of 2 years to 25 (after which cognitive development usually
ceases), a person will grow through at least the first few of the six stages shown in the
Table, in a sequence which does not vary and is irreversible.
Table of Cognitive and Moral Development
One can observe an unfoldment of the successive stages of Super-Ego maturity,
which occurs in parallel with the unfolding of the different cognitive stages of the
Ego: a concept referring to the conscious or pre-conscious (i.e. accessible) parts of the
psychic apparatus. Part of the Ego organisation, however, is in a state of becoming
conscious and part remains unconscious. The Ego represents what seems subjectively
to be reason and common sense. It is that part of the personality which is experienced
as being oneself, that which one recognises as ‘I’, one’s face to the world, at a
particular point in time.
Super-Ego: that part of the personality which influences self-observation, selfcriticism,
and other reflective activities. That part of the mind in which parental
introjects (see Introjection) are located. The Super-Ego differs from the Conscience in
that: a) it belongs to a different frame of reference, i.e. morality not ethics (what one
should do, rather than whether it is right or wrong); b) it includes unconscious
elements; and c) injunctions and inhibitions emanating from it derive from the
subject’s past and may be in conflict with his present ethical values. The Conscience
may conventionally be considered to be contained within the Super-Ego; however,
when ethical awareness is developed beyond convention, the autonomous Conscience
may then replace the installed morality of the Super-Ego.
It is not maintained that the Super-Ego is an accurate replica of the parental figures
who have been introjected, since the most significant internalisations are found to
occur early in childhood, when the infant endows his mental objects with his own
characteristics. During the pre-logical stage of Ego development, the Super-Ego acts
as a very restrictive parent, however as successive stages of cognitive maturity are
attained, control passes from the Super-Ego to the Ego, unless normal development is
thwarted. With greater freedom from Super-Ego constraints and greater selfawareness,
cognitive processes play an expanding part in the developing sense of
morality, and this is culminated by an active searching towards a Universal Ethical
Introjection: the process by which the functions of an external person are taken over
by its mental representation, by which the relationship with a person ‘out there’ is
replaced by one with an imagined person ‘inside’. The Super-Ego is formed by
introjection of parental figures and it may be analysed into a number of component
introjects (the good/bad internal father/mother). Introjection is both a defense and a
normal developmental process, depending on the context. Introjected parental figures
act as guardians of a child until he can understand what to do in the absence of such
guidance. In a mature mind, such introjects are inspected and they provide guidelines
only, whereas in the immature mind, they operate subconsciously as inhibiting
restrictions and enforcing controls (though they may also be rationalised consciously
and be part of the subject’s belief system). In healthy development towards maturity,
introjects are a necessary transitional phase; however if normal development is
hindered (the case with many people), introjects continue to control perception,
attitudes, goals, and behaviour. The autonomous Ego is free from Super-Ego
The Stages of Super-Ego Development
Kohlberg found that in many cultures young people between the ages of 2 – 25,
develop from Stage 1 onwards in an invariable, irreversible, step-wise sequence; the
majority reach Stages 3 or 4 but few reach Stage 6. Each successive Stage is a
cognitive transformation of earlier ones, and each level incorporates earlier ones in a
hierarchical system of increasing differentiation and integration. Change from one
Stage to the next is precipitated by moral conflict involving expectations and reality,
with thesis and antithesis giving way to higher synthesis.
This theory involves the interaction of the individual and the environment. It is
concerned with the evolution of moral values to the point at which they are directed
by the ethical nature of the individual. Moral value in the pre-conventional stages is
defined in terms of self-centred needs. At Stage 1, the individual is primarily
motivated by desire to avoid punishment by a superior power, whether parent, teacher
or employer, etc. At Stage 2, concern has shifted to the satisfaction of physical needs,
and the individual develops an awareness of the relative value of needs in terms of
demands for exchange and reciprocity.
At the next two stages the subject is at the conventional level, where moral values
involve conformity to traditional role expectations and the maintenance of existing
social and legal order. The Stage 3 individual is motivated to avoid social disapproval
for nonconformity, and would like to be judged by his intentions. The Stage 4 person
understands how his role fits into the social institutions approved by others, and he
seeks to perform his duty – to meet the expectations of society.
The two post-conventional stages represent the most advanced stages of moral
development. Decisions are based on consideration of shared values rather than on
self-centred interests or blind conformity to social standards. The Stage 5 individual
perceives his duty in terms of a social contract, recognising the arbitrary nature of
rules made for the sake of agreement. He avoids infringing the rights of individuals,
or violating the welfare of the majority. The Stage 6 person relies heavily on his own
conscience and the mutual respect of others. He recognises the universal principles
that underlie social commitments and seeks to apply them as consistent principles of
moral judgement.
Kohlberg quotes Martin Luther King:
“One may well ask: ‘How can you advocate breaking some laws and obeying
others?’ There are two types of laws: just and unjust. One has not only a legal but
a moral responsibility to obey the just laws. One has a moral responsibility to
disobey unjust laws. An unjust law is a human law not rooted in eternal and
natural law. Any law that uplifts human personality is just; any law that degrades
human personality is unjust.”
Some interesting patterns have emerged in over 20 years of research. The vast
majority of citizens rarely develop beyond Stages 3 and 4; 20% reach Stage 5
consistently and only 5% reach Stage 6. Delinquents and criminals are preponderantly
stunted in their moral development. In a notorious experiment in which subjects were
ordered in the name of psychological research, to inflict dangerous levels of electric
shock upon a ‘volunteer’ (the pain and shock were faked), most of those at Stage 6 in
tests, but only 20% of the rest, refused the brutal obedience. Moral development, it
seems, tends to correlate with Piaget’s intellectual stages, especially the transition
from concrete to formal operations.
It is important to note that the lower moral stages suffice for many people, places and
problems. The ‘good’ that Kohlberg seeks to measure is the capacity to abstract a
principle of justice from social contradictions, and the willingness to implement that
idea. Often this involves repairing the social-moral hierarchy at the different levels
that are torn by contradictions.
Martin Luther King, for instance, did not withdraw to the contemplation of Good
within an academy of rich young men, as the social system collapsed. He climbed the
moral hierarchy, the better to come down and repair its levels. King certainly spoke of
conscience (Stage 6), but Kohlberg’s research would show that this was insufficient,
as people rarely understand moral statements more than one stage above their own
habitual stage. For this reason King forged a social movement (Stage 5) which saw
that civil rights laws were passed and implemented by the courts (Stage 4). He set up
brilliant televised moral pageants in which black people were conventionally good
and peaceful (Stage 3) and white racists were stereotypically brutal, even as he
claimed the rights of his race to ordinary human satisfactions (Stage 2). But the theme
overall was harmony and integration, not merely between the races but between levels
of moral awareness.
Where the principle of justice infuses relationships, laws and images, social virtue is
restored. King fragmented in order to better reconcile. It is, then, within the entire
cycle of healing divisions that virtue and development lie, which requires ethical
awareness at both abstract and concrete, cerebral and loving, individual and social
The Mind-Body Split
Linguistic ability evolves from infancy onwards parallel to the development of mental
maturity. The earliest phase is Emotional. The infant is expressing its inner states of
emotion or feeling with calls, cries, laughter, etc. and there is little development of the
(left hemisphere) speech centre or higher cortical functions. The characteristic mode,
though, is what will later be differentiated as the right hemisphere processing of
perceptions, to grasp context and relationships. This phase is completely integrated
with the body.
The second phase is Social: the infant attempts to bring about some reaction in
another person through verbal signals, such as through saying ‘Mama’ to get attention
or point something out. Developing this ability, the infant acquires descriptive
vocabulary, and in doing so moves beyond the bounds of animal language to that
which is distinctively human. At first this is naïvely intuitional, but vocabulary is
gradually built up representing concrete objects and experiences, and the descriptive
function of language comes into full flower. The capacity of the left-brain speech
centre becomes greatly increased.
The unique feature of the descriptive function of language is that the statements may
be factually true or factually false – the possibility of lying is implicit. And so the
discrepancy develops between a specialised verbal left hemisphere, with a tendency to
distort and lie, and an emotional, experiential, non-verbal (intuitive) right hemisphere.
Because the reality perceived by the right hemisphere conflicts with alterations
(rationalisations, lies and fictions) perpetrated by the left, there is a tendency to negate
or suppress the right hemisphere contents, and therefore also intuition, and for the left
hemisphere way of seeing the world to become dominant. All of this is clearly
demonstrated by the Bilateral Meter, which differentiates brain arousal of the two
Developing from the specialisation of the hemispheres, the third Cognitive phase of
linguistic ability is the argumentative function. This includes the ability to ask
questions. (Note: a chimpanzee taught to use sign language can neither arrange
symbols syntactically nor can it ask questions). The art of critical argument is
intimately bound up with the human ability to think rationally. It is important to
recognise that each phase of language development is permeated by the lower phases.
For example, when arguing, there is expression of feelings, signalling in the attempt
to convert the antagonist, and description in underpinning the arguments by factual
reference. There are also gestural accompaniments to the linguistic expression. A
person who is not in touch with his emotions and feelings, however, will be split from
such body language, and may be arguing quite to the contrary of what his body is
saying. This is the mind-body split.
In the early stages of linguistic development the process of verbal elaboration is very
different to the Cognitive phase. In the Emotional phase, language exists to satisfy
emotional needs and is largely pre-verbal. Such words as are used are subjective and
are associated with emotions and feelings. In the Social phase words are elaborated
associatively rather than logically. Associations may be made with the concrete
objects represented, both spatially and semantically in terms of differentials such as
hot/cold, bright/dark, good/bad, etc. In the first part of childhood this must be so
because the child does not possess either sufficient vocabulary or self-awareness to
define the words in his mind in terms of other words.
After the age of 8 – 10 years the further development of the internalised language
model results from a process of Semantic elaboration. In other words, the content of
the mind is related to itself by an ever more complex set of connections based on the
definitions of words in terms of other words, and through the rules of grammar and
logic. The earlier emotional and associative models of language drop from sight; the
semantic model becomes available to introspection and the split between intuitive and
verbalised thought widens.
The Higher Mind
How does the spiritual being fit into this picture? This is my hypothesis, which has
proven workable through my experience and learning on Meta-Programming.
Spiritual consciousness is able to adopt a viewpoint from which to perceive and to
have considerations, opinions and intentions. This is one kind of mind – a Higher
Mind. The spiritual being also has the ability to get itself into a right mess, stuck in a
fixed identity – such as identifying with a human body in order to perceive through
the human, to experience life and express itself through that organic system, and this
solidifies through generations of reincarnation.
But the human body also has a life of its own – it is a genetic entity – a life form
programmed by genes, a super-intelligent chimpanzee. It is further conditioned by
stimulus-response learning, in which trauma and cultural pressures play a part. It has
inbuilt survival drives and develops a more or less sophisticated intelligence, the first
phases of cognitive and linguistic development described above. It may also be
programmed by the spiritual consciousness. This second kind of mind, a body-mind,
that of a fixed identity, therefore has both analytical and reactive programs, both of
which may be aberrated. In the case of a human being, the imprinted mental programs
are carried out by the brain, an incredibly sophisticated computer.
A stimulus, such as an image or perception, may cause an increase or decrease of
brain arousal, if the stimulus is interpreted as frightening or reassuring. This stress or
relaxation response is transmitted throughout the nervous system, and is measurable
as a change in skin resistance. Increase in tension and arousal will cause a fall in
resistance as indicated on the GSR (biofeedback monitor), and relaxation or
detachment will cause a rise. Overwhelm would cause a very low resistance and
dissociation would cause high resistance. A ‘floating’ response, on the other hand,
occurs when there is no reactive activity or conflict occurring between the body-mind
(the composite) and the spiritual being and there is an intuitive (non-verbal) openchannel.
The GSR needle follows the gentle pulse – reach and withdraw – of this
communication line, moving periodically like a pendulum.
If the Higher Mind and the body-mind are not differentiated, confusion results. Part of
the misunderstanding stems from an identification of the thinking personality, the leftbrain
verbal intelligence, with the awareness of awareness which is the spiritual
consciousness. The verbal intelligence is very much ‘of the brain’, whereas the
spiritual being is not ‘of the brain’ but influences the brain through non-verbal,
intuitive communication.
Because the communication of the Being is non-verbal and picture-graphic, like
telepathic communication, the right hemisphere is the medium for such
communication. This is the nature of ‘intuition’: the Being communicating via the
right-brain to the left, expressing awareness often in the form of metaphor or
symbolic images, in order to relay intentions. For the Being to be able to influence all
of the body-mind’s activities, depends therefore upon integration of the left and right
hemispheres, so that the brain is ‘awake’ and not obscuring this direct communication
The following diagram illustrates how the Being (YOU) inter-relates with the human
The Being is able to operate a mind quite independently from the brain,
communicating intentions, concepts and pictures to the right brain. These then change
the arousal level and affect the GSR meter. The body-mind has learnt the programmes
for ‘intelligence’: it can do an IQ test unaided by the Being. Only the Being, however,
has knowingness, awareness of its own goals and creative intention; it has
responsibility and ethics, and it is essentially the source-point of communication,
understanding and empathy – important aspects that contribute greatly to the abilities
of Heart Intelligence. Being essentially outside of space and time, it has an objective
viewpoint that is unaffected by the reactive mental processes of the body-mind
subconscious, except to the extent that it considers itself identified with the bodymind.
It is the source of the highest values of life, love and truth. This is constantly
demonstrated in one’s work on Insight, as it is the conflict between the knowingness
of the Being and the body-mind’s lies or suppressions, that causes the GSR meter to
The brain does have functions, they can be improved, and these functions relate
directly to spiritual awarenes. The whole system of Transformational Psychology,
including The Insight Project, works to this end. The integration of brain functions –
between Left/Right and between Body/Mind – is a by-product of correctly done
personal development and helps to provide a transparent vessel for the Spirit.
The Three Worlds
A child’s ability to refer to itself, its desires and the social pressures of its environment
requires little, if any, syntactic ability. Yet this basic function of language has
profound effects. The mastery of language to express feelings and to encode socially
desirable and undesirable behaviors to oneself, provides the source of motivation for
advancing to more elaborate usages of language – usages that do require syntax. There
are special areas of the cerebral cortex concerned with language that make this
possible. But this would not happen either, were it not for the developing self consciousness
of the child in its struggle for self-realization and self-expression,
empowered by the Spiritual Being.
Reality encompasses all existence and all experiences; this may be divided into three
worlds. The Objective Reality is the world of physical objects and states, including
the human organism. The second world is that of subjective experiences or states of
consciousness. The word ‘thought’ refers to a mental experience in a world of its own,
a Personal Subjective Reality. In contrast there is a third world, the world of human
creativity and shared subjective experience, the products of thought processes – the
Cultural Subjective Reality. In linguistic expression, subjective thought processes
achieve an objective status – this is the man-made world of knowledge and of culture
including language.
The mediator of these three worlds is the Spiritual Being, with the assistance of the
brain. The external world is perceived through the outer senses; the inner
consciousness interprets and manipulates this information and encodes
communication to others through language and behavior; this then becomes part of
the shared world. Through this cyclic interaction our world view develops. Through
identification and enculturation, much of this becomes an automated, mechanical
system, with the spiritual source largely asleep or obscured; to raise our society to a
higher level of Heart Intelligence, we need to reawaken consciousness in ourselves of
the Higher Self that is our world’s true creator.
An appealing analogy, but no more than an analogy, is to regard the body and brain as
a superb computer built by genetic coding as an inbuilt operating system, and which
has been created by the process of biological evolution. The Self is the programmer of
the computer. Each of us as a programmer is born with our computer in its initial
embryonic state. We develop it throughout life. It is our lifelong companion in all
transactions. It inputs from and outputs to the world, which includes other Selves.
Non-verbal thought may exist at a high level, but anyone who writes knows that
having to put one’s ideas into words – to evaluate, classify and organise them – can
sharpen thought. Language is the outstanding distinctive mark of human thought and

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